Saturday, December 4, 2010

As we speak;

I'm eating and eating and eating. Just took another bite of melted cheese on tortilla chips. It tastes so good, but I want to get it up. Hopefully I can, later. I don't want this many grams of fat in me. :[ Ugh. Why is this all that I care about? Getting fat; loosing weight; bones sticking out; working out; loosing more weight; loosing more and mroe weight. It's an obsession. It's like I have no control over myself. Fuck. I'm getting this all up later, I can't deal with this. Tomorrow I am fasting, I know I can do it. This morning I woke up and was crazing eggs, so I made eight over easy ones with cheese (as you can probably tell I am a cheese freak) and I wasn't even hungry. As I was melting the butter in the pan I was saying to myself, "Why am I doing this? I'm not hungry, please stop! Stop! STOP!" And of course I did not stop. But tomorrow I am going to have much more self control; I know I will.
Well my little baby Josie is sleeping on my left, fat as hell thigh. She's so cute, she's slowing sliding off haha. I'm gonna go slowing eat more and more, for food will be the death of me.


  1. Food will be the death of the world, either starving or gaining.
    Food sucks.

    stay lovely,

  2. that sounds like me too... and i'm also a cheese freak!

    love, helen