Saturday, October 23, 2010

I feel like I'm failing you all..

I honestly feel like I have no right to write here anymore. I've been debating for the past weeks on whether I should or not, because my progress hasn't been so good. I'm out of rehab, but I still have to go back every now and then. November first is my next date. I had a blood test Thursday, my mom got my results back and my potassium is at 3.8 when it should be a 4.0 at the very lowest! So she flipped out on me, yeah. I don't know what my weight is and I am absolutely terrified to go check it, but I am going to today. ): Ugghh..I don't know. I'm flabby, all over. I'm going to work out today, and fuck eating. I really don't give a shit about this recovery shit anymore. I'm NOT going to gain weight anymore. Screw you Charlotte, you can go shove it up someones ass who cares, because I DON'T!
So Monday my mom has a meeting with social workers, Charlotte, my dad, lawyers and it's all court ordered because of everything I told the social workers. They're finally doing something about it. My dad wants custody of me and he's going to fight for it. I did a lot better in my 'recovery' at my dad's, and Charlotte doesn't really like my mom either, so obviously she's going to be on my dad's side. And whatever happens, I have no say in. I might have to go live with him this week, I don't know. It's all court ordered so I really do have to do it. I hate this.
Enough about my retarded life, how is everyone? Not updating this makes me feel like I'm missing something, and I hate not being able to talk to you guys. ): Well, yeah. That's all I wanted to say, for now at least. Hmmm..well, thanks for your time, it really does mean a lot.


  1. this is your blog, you can write whatever you want. and you are worthy enough.

  2. You aren't failing us at all. Keep blogging as long as you want to-- because I love reading your posts ^^
    I'm in the process of recovery. Not going incredibly well...does it ever? But yeah, flabby fucking sucks. Anyhow. I've always been flabby. Gross. Keep pushing through, you can do this <3 Good luck with the court, stay strong.