Thursday, June 24, 2010

nobody said it was easy, nobody ever said it would be this hard.

Sorry I'm not doing so well keeping this updated; I've been very busy lately. I'm trying to overcome this bulimia. I want to shrink my stomach. This morning I ate ten eggs, six pieces of toast, yet I was still hungry. That's not right. So I'm watching some thinspo's on youtube - they really help! Here's one that I'm especially in love with right now :

:) Beautiful music, beautiful pictures.
Yesterday i had a doctor's appointment. I layered up the best I could (although it was 90 degrees!) and I filled up on water making myself 121. I was 124 last time I had to go which was about three weeks ago, and the doctor and my mom were flipping out about my weight loss. Thank God they don't know how much I really weigh. (114) But all that water never fully came outta me, so I'm up to 115 again. :(
Hopefully by tomorrow I can be 114 and 113 again. My mom has to work four the next four days so I'll be able to get away with it. And then Monday I have to go back to the doctors just for another blood test. I had to get blood drawn yesterday and I passed out. Not from the sight of it, just from the feeling that I got afterwards. I was so dizzy it was terrible. But I was fine within ten minutes.
Ahh, so I really like the people who comment on my blogs. :) thankss!
If you want my facebook or myspace, I'll give it to youuus so we can talk more.
I'm gonna get off for the day, maybe bleach my hair somemore haha. :)


  1. ahh aren't thinspo videos amazing :)

    woah, sorry about your mom and doctor! keep going hun. Love,


  2. i'm sorry about all your doctor's appts.
    why do you have to go?

  3. saw your blog on soto!! sucks about the doctor. hope you get over mia!! i know i've had pleanty of struggles trying to lose ana. :(