I hate lax

Up all night, okay not really, but 'til three this morning; cramps, toilet sitting, ouch, ouch ouch, ew.
My sister is leaving now to go to work. I'm trying not to binge. I don't know how I'm going to make it through today. I'm not that hungry right now, but I know within the next minute I can do a 360 and change completely. Why am I like this? God knows, but he usually doesn't answer me right away. It's all good.
I'm supposed to hang out with Tanja tonight, good friend whom I just met this year (old school) but we just have so much in common, it's crazy. But she usually always ''can't'' make it for some reason or another, so I didn't really bother to ask my dad if I could have a friend over. Oh well, it is what it is.
It's not sunny at all lately so I can't lay out and tan! I thought I'd get black this summer, but nope; weather is against me I guess.
Do you ever just finish drinking coffee, which usually makes you feel full, then want to eat? Like I don't understand this at all! Why do I want to eat when I'm not even hungry? I know I'll be happy and satisfied in the moment and after I purge it all up, but I mean during and before the purge I'll regret it. But right now I won't? I don't know, I need mroe pills in me.
I'm going to go clean. Even though I just did yesterday! Haha things can never be too clean. ♥