Monday, August 1, 2011

They tell me I'm strong, but I know I'm not at all;

I'm up up on the moon ♥

So I am done. Fucking done. I'm not binging anymore. So what; I've said it before but I'll say nine times again -I am done!
Like forreal. I'm getting yelled at too much for 'pigging out' on everything. I ate half a gallon of ice cream yesterday - I didn't think it was that much nor did I think that anyone would of looked in it - but of course when I open the freezer this morning it was moved! So maybe they didn't look in it, but still. There's a pretty good chance and I'm probably going to hear it when they get home.
I don't want that anymore. :(
This morning I almost exploded my stomach - literally. I ate so much and kept eating no matter how full I got and my stomach was packed and hurting and I didn't stop. Then I got this piercing pain shooting in my stomach and I almost went numb, like it was that bad. So I went and purged. Then after a little bit of that of course I come back and binge more. But now it's all up and I took laxatives and I'm drinking coffee. Ugh.
Why do I have to go through all of this? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

-Hope everyone is doing ten times better than me. ♥

1 comment:

  1. we do this cause we are masochists we like the pain we have adisease that we cant contorl that we cant stop that forces us to do things we gonna wanna
    stay safe hun