but i 'purged' it all back up.
where is thsi getting me?
i hate the word 'purge'.
they say things like "the urge to purge."
it makes me laugh.
i've been bs-ing my way outtta there.
they said i have to gain weight (OKAY! i can always lose it again! )
and just see if it helps me in a week.
so gotta finish this week and by next tuesday i should be out.
i gotta drink waterr a lot of it on weigh in days, which are scheduled tuesdays and fridays. i'm 116.2.
i don't want to go back to that.
do they not understand? ):
no they fucking dont, i don't think anyone does.
godd. please god just help me.
in group we use this skill called distraction to take our minds off what we just ate and what not, and i make hemp bracelets and such.
my wholee left wrist is covereddd.
my right just has like two.
nothiing cool there,
so i'm on prozac now. i read on the label, do not take if pregnant.
i asked why and they said it could kill the fetus. or really badly harm it.
hopefully if i am and prozac effects it, it'll just die asap. no harm, no pain.
please god, forgive me for doing this, forgive me for all of this. they try to tell me its not my fault, but then who the fucks fault is it then,
oh no, OF COURSE NOT MY EATING DISORDER. OR ME,
whatever fuck this.
i'm also on ativan - anxiety and shit.
i'm trippin' balls on one mg, think if i take another, accidentlyl. (L:l
that was supposted to be a smiley.
im so outta it.
god. plaease just help me.
please please please
... ):egb '[