Saturday, September 4, 2010

Morning Sickness.

Is that normal? Oh dear.
So quite a lot has changed since my last post, I've been like too upset to write, but I need to get all of this out. I'm back in fucking rehab. Yeah, that place I was in before. I can't hide this shit anymore. Even though I just got up my dinner last night, I can't loose any weight. This so sucks. Like I've cried every single night for a week, is that healthy? No. Wow I'm good at answering my own questions! Ahaha. Blaahhh.
I get prescribed this Ativan? Some like anxiety thing. I take about four maybe six? Then smoke two cigs. Shit damn I am fucked up! I love it though ♥
Not being in school is kinda weird, but I don't care. I'll be behind and shit, oh well.
One last thing I wanted to say, was that I tried to kill myself one night. I think just Monday? I don't remember. I had Tylenol PM pills, like nine, took two, and had the rest in my hand. Crying my eyes out and everything, texted a few friends 'I love you' and even my sister. She told my mom about that and then mother walks in. I hand her them.
Whatever, I don't want to be fat. I know I'll loose all of it again. Oh dear lord, please help me get through this. Please please please.
Girls stay strong, and don't take shit from no one. They want to be thin, but aren't strong enough like us. We got it in us to be thin, we are supposed to be, no matter what. Stay strong, and I love all of you. ♥
Byeee, for now.

1 comment:

  1. everything is going to be okay. may not seem like it right now, but it will be. just hang on and hold your head up, it will be hunky dorey in no time whatsoever. hang in there.