i'm beyond ashamed of myself. like, i'm speechless.
no more fooling around megan. no fucking more.
i'm 123, still. i'm fat as hell, i'm huge. i'm disgusting. i should work out even more. i shouldn't even look at food. food is fucking up my life. it really is disgusting, almost like me. so why mix disgusting and disgusting together?
no more. no more, no more, no more. if i don't lose three pounds by friday, i will pay the price.
i'm sorry skinny_legs. i'm sorry. i didn't realize just how much i am failing you. i said we'd get over mia together, and i'd be here for you. but i'm just a worthless piece of shit girl who doesn't have self control.
i will get self control, it's the only thing that's weightless that i'm allowing myself to gain.
i will not binge anymore. i won't. i know i've said it before but this time i fucking mean it. i mean it with everything i've got in me. every inch of fat on these bones will be shed. i want to be beautiful. self control is beautiful. i will starve.