Wednesday, July 6, 2011


i'm beyond ashamed of myself. like, i'm speechless.
i'm sorry.
no more fooling around megan. no fucking more.
i'm 123, still. i'm fat as hell, i'm huge. i'm disgusting. i should work out even more. i shouldn't even look at food. food is fucking up my life. it really is disgusting, almost like me. so why mix disgusting and disgusting together?
no more. no more, no more, no more. if i don't lose three pounds by friday, i will pay the price.
i'm sorry skinny_legs. i'm sorry. i didn't realize just how much i am failing you. i said we'd get over mia together, and i'd be here for you. but i'm just a worthless piece of shit girl who doesn't have self control.
i will get self control, it's the only thing that's weightless that i'm allowing myself to gain.
i will not binge anymore. i won't. i know i've said it before but this time i fucking mean it. i mean it with everything i've got in me. every inch of fat on these bones will be shed. i want to be beautiful. self control is beautiful. i will starve.


  1. This post really reads like a declaration of war of something, really hope it works out for you. you arent worthless and you can totally do this.


  2. Girl this post literally just pulled my back form the brink of purging up my lunch and ruining my streak. I'm sorry if I was a bit to harsh seem so intense in this post!
    NO more mia
    let me know if you need anything..we could instant message i guess? I'll be stateside and able to text in about three weeks.
    You are not worthless.

  3. wow this post just hit home even though im not full on mia i do havemypurging tendecies u can beat this hun now u can

  4. Sweetie you're definitely NOT disgusting. I think you're quite lovely and amazing! You have plenty of self-control, but we can't be strong all the time, our body and mind need a break sometimes. You already are beautiful. (: Good luck on your goals, I am positive you'll reach them, you have my full support!