Sunday, July 24, 2011

Don't tell me that I'm only one who's vulnerable

It's impossible.
I really wish I never started. Fuck bulimia, I was just watching a documentary on eating disorders and they said it takes about seven to ten years to fully recover. No. I'm not wasting seven or ten years of my life trying to beat something that I want to keep. Fuck this shit yo, haha.
So I'm kinda crazy; I dug through the trash and got back my laxxxxies! Yeah, gross but they weren't like all disgusting or anything.
And when my dad came home yesterday, we talked for a while. It was weird. He cried. Yes he did, he cried. Agrown man, turning 49 this December cried! It is possible people for parents to cry! I found this out yesterday. It was so sad, he's just like "I just want you to get better, and I thought this would be less stressful for you to get away from your mom because she took everything out on you, and I just want you to get better" And he hugged me too. It made me cry as well, then again anything could, aha, but yeah. :(
Makes me want to actually try and beat this disease. For him. ♥
He also told me that he'd rather see me not eat at all than to eat and throw up.
I'll take him up on that, aha.
So yeah, my updates for noww. I get paid tomorrow! Probably some shitty amount like 60$ ? I got like 73 last time. I NEED MORE HOURS! Oh wow, deje vou haha I said that in the last post. But yeah I do need them and I'll go in tomorrow for my mulla $$$
Things I can buy; Hollister Hoodie (always been a HUGE want ♥) annnnd bigger gauges :) I currently have 7/16ths which are one size above 00. YEeeeeah buddy.


  1. Your dad sounds incredibly sweet, I'm glad he's so supportive of you. $60 is pretty good! I love Hollister, I only have a few things from there though since there's not one at our mall. Haha at first I thought the sentence "I currently have 7/16ths which are one size above 00" was talking about jeans, so I was very confused. :D Good luck in recovery if you're trying to recover, and stay beautiful! <3

  2. ur dad wants to b there for u thats all he doesnt wanna c hes daughter destroy herself
    and idt its possilbe to fully recover yeah u can learnt to fight it and fight the voices and urges but for it to fully go away idk im skeptical on that

  3. your dad sounds lovely :) and hollister = amazing; gotta love it! hope you're ok, xx