I just hate this. I hate being me. I hate waking up every morning, every single God damn morning, to look at myself in the mirror and see my fat everywhere. EVERYWHERE! No one understands; I'm always hungry, always wanting to lose weight, wanting to eat everything in sight one minute, then starve myself the next. No one gets it. Bulimia fucking sucks. Anything you eat, even if it's the most healthiest thing ever, I will throw it up. Or find something more to binge on and then get it up.
Enough of me complaining. /:
Those laxatives weren't cheap!
I want to eat something. I poured out a full bottle of gatorade last night so I have at least something for today! Hiding under my pillows, I know, gross right? But I'm this desperate to not get fucking fat. Why don't I work out more? I think I'm going to look into like energy mega boosting pills, so that'll help in the littlest way with my depression and down mood to bring me up!
Thank you guys for the compliments on my legs. I don't know the measurements, but I'll find like a string? Ha put it around my thigh, then lay it out and measure it on a ruler? I really have no idea how to do that shit, if I get an actual measure tape that would look so so so bad on my half if anyone found it. But I can fit in a size 0 Hollister jeans, if that helps? Hmm here's one more picture of my legs.
Ew you can see the scars from cutting on the right one. They're prolly tanner now and this is from last week so I'll measure and put a new picture of them up.
If any of you have a facebook/tumblr, forsure let me know. :)
Stay strong everyone. I'm certainly trying. I gotta work at three today, hopefully a manager is there so that I can ask for more hours, even though I can't do my job right and I always mess up, I NEED MORE HOURS!
Loveee youu all. ♥