Friday, April 16, 2010

no way out.

Today was the worst day of my life. I'll start from the beginning;
I go to school, change into this really cute little dress because we had to dress up for our softball game, which got cancelled by the way because of rain. I thought I looked pretty damn good, I got so many compliments. First period flies by, as well as second, then third period arrives and I have class with my ex, Colin. He ignores me as usual, I thought maybe I'd catch his eye today. But whatever, fourth period comes and I'm just sitting in studyhall. Then, my teacher comes up to me and says, "Do you have something to cover up those straps with? It's inappropriate for school."
I said, "" and I fixed my bra straps because I totally understood what she meant. Then she said, "Well it's a cute dress, but if you were smaller you wouldn't look so bad." (and as she said bad she put her finger down her throat, like that gesture thing. Then she walked away. I sat there for a moment and my friend next to me was like "wow." I said "She just like...called me fat.." And my friend said, "Wait, what did she say?" I guess she didn't hear so I told her what the teacher said. I just lost ten pounds, and someone calls me fat. What more can I do?.. The next period I just broke down. All my friends came in the bathroom with me and I told them whats wrong. Even seniors and juniors were there with me, and they told the principal. I told them not to, but they did anyways and the teacher lady apologized to me, saying that I misheard her and she said "If you were any bigger, it would look bad." As in if someone fat wore it, they'd look bad because they'd be overflowing it or whatever. Then they told me how skinny I was and beautiful the dress was on me, blah blah blah. I wanna cry even more though, I know what she said and there's no way to take it back. And after the lady left the principal's office from apologizing to me, I was still crying and the principal asked me if there was more to the story because I was still crying, and I said no. But I wanted to tell her everything, how I'm fucking bulimic and over eat and throw up and then starve myself for days maybe weeks and then eat and fucking force the food back up. But I held everything in, just like I do every time. And of course fat old ugly me comes home to a hugee binge, throws up then I eat even fucking more!? And I didn't get everything up from the second binge, and I feel so sick right now. I don't know if it's from not throwing up..? Oh my goshhh. I hate this so much, :( and to top it all off I'm on my period, but thank God it's lighttttttt. I feel like taking a benadryl and sleeping. I think I'm back up to 122. FUCK. But I drank so much tea, so hopefully it's just that. I want weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedd. I really hope I can hang out with Hope tomorrow night, we will for suree light up. I'm so stressed, dudee, like fuck it. I wantt weeed or some alcohol, somthing pleaseeeeeee. Well, fuck you Mrs. Robertson for 'unintentionally' calling me fat, and fuck you kitchen of mine for calling my name. I'm going to pop some pink and sleep for the night. Bye.


  1. Wowwwwww, what a fucking BITCH!! I'm so sorry =[ I wish I could give you a big hug. If some old hag said that to me, I'd have to try sooo hard not to punch her. Like I would have actually started swearing and crying and making an idiot of myself.

    Haha, visual of me hitting an old lady = odd.

    Feel better <3

  2. Hi.Um. I know I'm random,but I gave you an award. Because I think you're awesome like that.

  3. that's terrible. I'm sorry that had to happen to you.

    the teacher is probably just jealous of you :)