Tuesday, June 14, 2011


@ americaneagle;
Thank you for he long comments! ♥ I very muchly so enjoy them! I hope you have a safe three weeks, my blog will always be here for you to read anytime! :)
@ Dani;
Thanks dear, yes yes I kept it down I think. I binged & purged @ the party, damn food. But thanks for the support so much, it means a lot. :) & i've been drinking that!!! My dad buys it for me all the time, zero cal ♥ i'll go drink some right now actually haha. To be honest I keep the big bottles after I drink it all, hide it in the closet & use it to purge in. Nobody knows, and then just pour it in the toilet, flushh it, wash out bottle & reuse!
Sorry I had to get my method out there. How low is that? I don't know. I'm starting to think this disease is worse than what I know..
@ ivy;
Thanks lovely, I had an okay time. I wanted to meet some new people, drink / socialize but my dad made us leave early. Basically I missed the real party because all the kids came later. Oh well. My sister's is this weekend so I'll have the whole night hehe. :) I hope you're doing well, I'm going to go to your blog & read read read! ♥

So obviously I'm kinda happy today.

I woke up, took my meds & made some coffee. Drank two cups and started a binge. :( Only eight eggs, four pieces of toast, half a bag of curly fries, and about half a container of ice cream.

If you think that's a lot, then I shouldn't mention any other binges in my past because it will probably make your stomach explode. But yeah, the whole time I'm saying to myself "I don't want to do this, like wtf!"

The addiction is truly stronger than me & I'm just allowing it to take me over.

I don't know. Just putting my thoughts out there.

I want to blog every day but I can't find myself to sit here on the computer for that long. I feel like I should be doing other things. Oh well.
Tomorrow I'll hopefully have a friend over! Courtney! Haha she's cool, she's real.

Also have my job orientation tomorrow @ 230! I think I have the job because she says that it's all paperwork & what not, but we will see! I hope I do have it! GO WENDYS! Haha

Ew, being around that food though. I'm going to get self control. :)))

No binging. Oh my goodness. I think that this will really do me well, I can learn how to really restrict and hold back my urges to binge. God has good intentions. ♥

I found nine four leaf clovers yesterday! I always find so many when I go to my counseling place; outside is this little stone walk way and around it are clover patches.

Oh my gooodness. It just hit me. It's a huge memorial area remembering all of the veterans & soldiers. Yesterday I was thinking that it must be something in the air or water or weird clovers. I don't know.

But I bet it's the presence of all the soldiers. Yes? They're not buried there or anything, no no, just huge rocks and flowers and imprinted thank you's to personal fam. members on the stone walk way. I'll take a picture next time & post it - too hard to explain.

I'm good right now, just coffee & lots of sugar & cream in me. I think that's why I'm so fat; all of the sugar and cream in the coffee I drink, or even tea!

Could it be? I mean in a cup of coffee I add at least 5-6 spoons of sugar, then pour cream in 'til it's a mid light / dark tan color. Oh dear.

Another thing is Bing Crosby. - White Christmas.

My mom told me yesterday when I saw her that she read / heard somewhere (yes she's very very weird, not normal but shes my mom♥) & so if you listen to that song while having lots of coffee in you, and only coffee, people hallucinate! Hahah so I'm going to try it. I'll post my next blog with my personal experience! Haha I love all of you guys, you honestly keep me ispired & happy & full of life. Blogging is the best thing that happened to me. :) I love you guys, ♥


  1. i understand how it feels like the addiction is strong ,just rememebr that u ARE 2 ! xoxo

  2. yay for feeling happy. nothing can trump that feeling!

  3. addictions just suck and so hard to break its like fuck off already i hate my disease